GlimpsesThroughStainedGlass

Thursday, November 15, 2012

meanwhile...

On Oct 24th I was about to draft a post called meanwhile. It was the day after I fractured my left ankle in 3 places. The title alone which means to me the telling of story "at the same time, but from different places" remained in draft until today.

If I am to add to the noise, or curate from the chaos, on this idea still far from formalized -- for that is all that it is, or has yet to be, then I need to make some serious changes in the deployment of my time.

Dancing in the Moonlight -- to one's own drummer

I am still shuffling the moments; recalling as much of "what connected" as "what felt out of step". Mostly, I struggle with what compelled me to connect at all and to remain even as others said -- evict.

ynchyldzwyld born 6.23.1953 passed 11.13.2012. Turns out, part of the mystery is that she was riddled with cancer. She will likely have no obituary; so I will do my best here. Our pets always welcomed her home, Jake and Reilly never causing the 'melee in the ménage' that other arrivals would upon entering. From the very 1st meeting they accepted her, welcomed her pats on their heads; and in Reilly's case an occasional brief belly rub, always with a gentle admonition "I know, I know". The cats did not have long to wait for her to fill their dishes -- when they shared the common area of the kitchen, most often in late evening or very early morning.

She preferred second shift when there was work. Most of her last years were spent chasing the temporary agency assignments. In her last month after a concerted 6 months of effort, she secured two assignments, leaving the warehouse call center for one in banking. Maybe the 'coming out of recession' momentum was favoring her.

Many of her career years were in banking where her destiny was dynamically linked to rise and fall of the WANG Business Computing. It seemed she had a good decade with discretionary income and a false sense of security and success in the mid-80's. However, her post bankruptcy reinvention was not similarly successful. It might have been if she had not been one of the personal stories of the ATT CT call center shut down (@ 2008 and continuing) because she was good at technology related customer service.

In 1971, ynchyldzwyld graduated from Brunnel HS in Stratford CT. That same year Wang introduced the first word processor, a typewriter with an electronic memory. In the mid-80's to 90's the Banking Industry was WANG, not Big Blue. As a programmer analyst ynchyldzwyld found a comfortable niche. She was able to succeed in the world in a way that provided comfort to her inner world which would be a riddle to outsiders. The Yearbook quote she selected taken from Stanyan Street & Other Sorrows by Rod McKuen may attest to her awareness that her drummer was uniquely hers.

Poets after all, should walk and be content to take their time.

What I knew most that she was proud of her ability to provide customer service and there is evidence that this was not a misguided self-perception. She loved Earl Grey Tea, gems stones, and technology that could connect her, as close to 24 x7 as possible, to music and could secure secrets.

She once said , "People like you do not understand that I am okay being alone." Herein she was making assumptions about my support networks of family et.al. and it may be those misguided assumptions that secured both our distance and intimacies as I experienced being the last person in her life, in the last year of her life.

-- maybe more will untangle, if so more entries will follow.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Excited, Busy and ...

There is family stuff, weddings and similar life arrangement commitments being made by our now adult children, AND there is our house as the dog's house based on their messaging dissatisfaction with our more complex schedules of late, AND there is making sure I walk daily regardless of the heat -- so as not to be computer bound.

For the better part of 6 weeks I have been onboarding as the Executive Director of WPAA-TV. This includes needing to learn things I never wanted to like alarm codes and door locks, and what is or is not in the file cabinets. But I can proudly say that there has been more 'community' involvement just in these past few weeks and it has been rewarding work thus far.

But my personal video projects are once again -- back burnered.

Saturday, June 2, 2012