Friday, May 4, 2012

Whose life am I living? Tone, Time, Taken

Thus far it has been a life of co-creation that has been tempered by the need to survive and inspired by a desire for the next generation to have more opportunity to thrive.  As such the determination of what I want to do has been suppressed nearly to the point of extinction.

Recent attempts at deciphering want have been clumpsy and misguided. Stripping down to the essentials is a process of elimination. So I am reminded that Edison and failed experiments and that failing is a method of elimination.  The Road Not Taken is a poem that always captured my imagination and comes into mind at every occasion with choices.  A poem can say so much but to what avail? However, I do return to some like a homing pigeon hungering for their genius.

I feel like I have lost a decade.  I have not felt a true sense of community in some time.  I physically tremble as I connect in what feels like memory hazes (unclear images overwhelmed by emotion). I tremble this same way when excitedly sharing a story or idea... but these tremors are too infrequent and, dare I say, feared. 

Enough yet-to-be self-awareness distraction. It is time to clear the desktop evidence of a mind allowed to stumlble, discover, wonder and cycle back to things that eventually must get done.

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